You and i never got to the, we dont care what we look like friend-stage. you know? like not brushing your teeth stage.
sorry im really high
you're like the Neil Armstrong of terrible hookups, you are a pioneer
i feel this outfit says i'm better than you, but i might give you a handjob behind a building
we were both as far on opposite edges of my bed as possible this morning. id say work is gonna be a little uncomfortable from now on
He said last night that he'd never had such a great conversation and such a great handjob at the same time.
Well they kicked us out after we started heckling the acrobats
sooo I am sorta kinda using your name as my stripper stage name.
Did you get any last night. I need to track my forever aloneness
Huh. I think I went to highschool with the hooker my neighbor just brought home.
There should be an app that tazers me in my pocket when I'm spending too much money at the bar. Take a hint, Android Network. You slut.
Because she seems like the type to give it up for a box of fruit rollups.
I was hammered helping a pregnant woman at the gas station name her unborn child. We had to try everything with two different last names because she was waiting on the results of her paternity test.
he told me he didn't like my name so he was going to call me Casey instead
you were on a whole other level. you went home with him because he said "you got some light ass eyes"
DONT YOU DARE YELL AT ME. YOU'RE THE ONE WHO TRIED TO PAY FOR THE CAB WITH YOUR PANERA REWARDS CARD.
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