her teeth looked like a whores toenails, i was too horrified to
seeing an 80 year old woman puke in the bushes changes everything...
that's spring break in florida for ya
The amount of pregnancy tests I've taken in my life is unhealthy
If that really is brett favre's penis, no wonder she ignored his calls
unfortunetly they frown upon drunk on duty paramedics
Hope you had your fill for the summer my friend, because all the cleavage has been put away for the winter. Fear not; it blooms again in May.
I'm eating hummus off of my stomach right now.
See I would make a great girlfriend. My surprises are sex and burritos. What else do guys want
I was in the bathroom and I heard a phone ding inside one of the stalls. I really wanted to say, nature is calling, but I was still in my work uniform
If drinking had a "new high score" I think I hit it this weekend.
I've pulled 4 ticks off of me. This is the last time I suck dick in the wild.
I would say don't do anything I wouldn't do, but we both know I forget about my personal safely when getting laid is on the line
To celebrate the holidays this evening, I will be replying “FUCK YOU” to all my spam emails. Can’t tell you how excited I am
My son's girlfriend just thanked me for having good penis genes.
She’s the kind of asshole whose face I want to put on a T-shirt just so I can go outside and burn it.
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