Until that no good dick sucking whore stays away from my boyfriend I am gonna start blowing all of his friends...
I'm telling lies about you to make you look like a good person
it must be christmas time, i've got a hankering to give a virgin a baby....
I think I just sold my virginity for plane tickets
If tjhis were a lake full of vodka and i were a ducl Id swim my way down and ddrink my way up
She somehow inhaled a tack last night, she's having surgery today.
where are you?
Hypothermia
I'm applying temporary tattoos with green beer, this is the life.
I have a gash on my leg an a lobster leg in my purse.
He said he was gonna go pull a lochte and the next thing we know he's outside ass naked peeing in the neighbors kiddie pool.
He's not actually Jewish. Turns out he just wears the yarmulke to cover his bald spot.
I am drinking green tea.... My liver is in shock
Once you jizz in someones hat, you cant take it back.
After pissing all over her van its a lot easier to look her in the eye than I thought.
I know... It's stupid... It's like, I have sex with his brother and bestfriend ONE time....
Randomize
