Girls gone wild is like the hills, except sexy and it doesnt suck
rhymes with "ouble enetration"
The worst part is I think my tongue cut his penis and now he wont talk to me.
The doctor put me on 3000 mg of amoxicillin a day. Which, for a sinus infection, seems pretty excessive to me.
Maybe he was just trying to knock out any potential ghonorrhea you might be carrying around.
Ah, my reputation precedes me.
dude I'm not 100% but I think your mom is sexting me.
Mom said you looked used
WHY IS MY CAR MISSING A DOOR YOU BITCH
budget cuts
YOU CANT BLAME EVERYTHING YOU DO WHILE DRUNK ON BUDGET CUTS
budget cuts are serious business
I've never had goosebumps on my dick before. It was definitely not a bad feeling.
Next time she asks for a ride to her "cousins" house and it turns out to be a booty call we're charging her for each mile.
You know you've got awesome issues when the main deciding factor of whether or not to cut your nails depends on nacho consumption in the near future
I don't fucking know. He perched his parrot on his dick. I left after that.
Do you know how close I got to throwing him over the edge of the canyon?
I just wanted to personally thank you for throwing clementine slivers at me across the room while we made out
That wasn't even sex. That was a fuckoning
...did you just create a word for what we did?
Your penis caused this!
Randomize
