You can't wash away shame.
I can try.
google image searching george stephanopoulos at 1 AM on a saturday night...once again
i thought he was 22...he said he was 25..he was 19...im 26..it doesnt count if you dont know right?
Puked in a cab. Passed out on my floor an my mom put a blanket over me. Home by 1045. I won shitshow trophy last night.
Yeah! I got cockblocked by the blizzard last night. Lost girl on way to my apartment. Not a joke
Defiantly just threw away our yearly bottle collection in front of the campus tour. The school should pay me for recruitment
Looking for things to spread butter on. Found men's briefs in garbage can. Lost insurance card. Summer has finally arrived
In reality u ask do u have beer at your house but what your really saying is will there be cock in my mouth
She looks like if Peter Griffin was a lesbian.
Run away.
All I could think when I saw it was, "All right, Vagina, only one of us is getting out of this alive."
Hello and welcome to the game 'Matt needs weed'! Rules are simple: first one to find a bag wins the fabulous prize of getting stoned with yours truly. Thank you for playing and good luck!!
You need to come back and help me drink our beer so the fridge has room for the other beers
Are you coming to the bday night? i'll be doing a life-like reenactment of traveling through Bonnie's vaginal canal and taking my first breath of life. Don't think you'll want to miss it.
I can bring a slip n slide and curtains.
I want to see a guy holding a pizza and a bottle of scotch and a box of magnums. I'm a simple woman.
mate iv just woke up in the garden. either help me inside or bring out my vodka
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