I don't do stupid things anymore. I do stupid people.
he said he wished he had more hands so he could firmly hold my boobs.
God gave him joint rollers for hands
Hickey on my chest, threw out my elbow and now walking out my shame.
Youre getting too old for this
5am update: in a toga seeing triple made out with both sexes
Yea we slept in ur room but im 80% sure we didnt have any peanut butter in there
My life is a joke. Told everyone last night that they could call me Mrs. McCormick because I'm gonna end up alone with a handle of peach vodka anyways.
Idk. The last coherent text said something about $25 & dimes. And then...it's just letters...
This is true. I'm still having Jess write "no drugs" on my left hand and "except weed" on my right hand
So good news, aparently I blacked out and tried to go in the back of the mcdonalds to thank the people for makin my fries
Let's go dancing. I wanna sprain an ankle. And a labia. My labia or yours. I'm not picky.
My whole sorority girl exterior is just a lie. I'm a fat tumblr girl on the inside.
Would jacking off with Benadryl cream be good or bad for the poison oak on my dick?
I need to stop getting high and watching documentaries. Wanna go to Japan with me and protest the mass genocide of dolphins?
are you the reason the first floor girls' bathroom smells like weed?
Randomize
