Do you think people stop being hipsters when they're naked? because that's what my research shows.
I just got fire extinguished by his roommate while we were having sex. That's just taking cock blocking to a whole new level.
I'll go out only because I know the starving children in third-world countries would frown upon us if we let an hour of free sangria go to waste...
grab my backpack.....its in the fridge
Did I hear correctly when it sounded like he said "just don't let me throw up into your vaj?"
I found my underwear on the sidewalk 8 blocks from her house while on my walk of shame. I also found our beer bag and a full beer in the bush.
Nope. If I'm going to drive an hour to fuck a teacher, it will NOT be missionary thats for damn sure.
I'm sitting outside your room listening for sex noises eating pepperoni...slowly
Stephen I'm in a lecture and the lecturer just said 'you can CHOOSE to put something in your mouth and swallow it" i'm the only one here who burst out laughing, this is awkward. Thought you'd appreciate it.
They'll never let you practice medicine.
1) I'm a decent drunk texter. 2) My world is spinning. 3) I'll give you a dollar and a hug for a glass of water. 4) I love you. 5) Example: your penatrive ways are overwhelming my alternative lyfestyle. 6) That is all.
7) Noodle arms: engage
The example was me just using big words while hammered. You're welcome. Ambidextrious. I spelled it right.
it was good, but also weird. like, i came four times and then cried weird.
This feels more like a conference of all the people I've fucked in the past year.
How did I end up in some random dudes car?
Some guy came up to you and asked if you knew how to drive stick.
I'm reading the Hobbit in my blanket fort alone with a bottle of wine... all I need is dungeons and dragons to complete this superfecta of awesome
The party pretty much ended once she shit on the couch
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