you know i'm gay cause i'd have sex with lady gaga. what straight man would say that?
Today was the day I stopped kidding myself and started buying the handle of vodka.
We got them high and they had an hour long debate on the best way to get cum out of eyes.
you better fuck at least one or both of them.
we knew you were done when they played It's All Coming Back To Me Now by Celine Dion and you started crying
as she was beating the hell out of his ex, she screamed prison rules, and smashed her head with a beer bottle. I'm oddly afraid yet so attracted to her now.
I did the walk of shame wearing his scrubs. Fucking med school students is the way to go.
I would fuck him In a heartbeat, an obese child running up stairs with an irregular heartbeat, heartbeat.
When we picked him up this morning the cop said that if they actually arrested every drunk American who pissed on cathedral doors, Spain wouldn't have any room for real prisoners.
Can I just have sex with him and then never talk to him? I need him to be the Mr. Miyagi of my sex life.
He has blue eyes of sex and i am powerless against them
Doesn't tell me where my computer chair went but good to know
im so sad I can't openly talk about acid tab Sundays
He drunk texted me what I think is two snails fucking on a mushroom. Is "you sick bastard" too mild a rejection?
You know that thing where you wouldn't typically eat ass but you're in love with him so you want to eat his ass, because it's HIS ass
I love how fuckboys immediately become cultured when I tell them I’m an artist.
I look like a hot mess, emphasis on the hot now, more emphasis on the mess later
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