Just remembered throwing your phone at your face in a half-drunk stupor the other morning when your alarm went off. Thought I should apologize.
please stop telling ppl youre Alice Cullen when youre drunk
im at that stage where all she has to do is cough or something and it pisses me off
She challenged me to a game of rock-paper-scissors for her virginity. I love this girl.
How do I tell if what I'm covered in is pee or cum?
Contrary to what I yelled at them last night, it turns out campus police CAN arrest people...
she was home schooled till college. were she learned how to give the most amazing blowjobs is still a mystery.
just watched the video of me leading you with a trail of french fries.
So I am just swinging blind here, but I am guessing that blood in your sinus is not ideal
I just had my first lesbian experience. Out of spite.
I'm about to be a GTA V widow, he could at least throw me a bone. Literally.
That makes 14 Xmas cards already! Middle aged people are really nice to their dealers.
If I could drink as much and have the amount of sex he has at his age, well I'd probably be dead
We lost you in the bar so we waited outside for you...next thing you know you kick open the doors and yell "I'M ALIVE"
well you did quote socrates while playing beer pong and then proceeded to fall down
Randomize
