I just got back to Nicks and I shoul dnot have drank this much when I have to work at 7AM!!!!!
My boss just called me into his office to apologize for being an "inadvertant cockblock"
I'm getting very mixed reviews. One friend told me to stop drinking bc the last 3 times he's heard from me I've either peed my pants, been throwing up, or people have been having sex beside me.
Strangely enough I'm encouraging you to keep drinking for all the same reasons.
I got a phone call from security asking me to do my laundry wearing more than a blanket next time.
Your brother came in a girls mouth for the first time last night... Ah the tales told whilst buying minors beer.
Just ran four miles to popeye's. And back. Dedication.
We're gonna take a moment of silence to pray... that his penis is as pretty and as talented as his brothers.
we're driving around with this really dirty (unclean and inappropriate) 60 year old ex-san quintin con named old skool d that my brother knows and hes bringing us to get weed. what is montana?
Holy. Crap. I just found a hickey on my bikini line. He never got my pants off. WHO IS THIS MYSTICAL HOOKUP WIZARD?
Best compliment ever: Being told that you really understand sex by a professional. After she gave you a HANDJOB.
Dude. The amount of love and appreciation from a house full of stoners when you come home at 4 am with donuts is overwhelming. The kind of love to make Jesus have to work a little harder at his unconditional love thing.
I just got stoned alone and repierced my nose. don't ever tell me I'm unaccomplished
I just got stoned by myself and am eating cookies so I'm right there with you
Final Summary: could he eat a lit sparkler? Probably. Could he do it while peeing off the roof? I'll tell you when you get to the ER.
Yeah plus that night got so disgusting it's basically a repressed memory anyway
How do you explain to your mom that you let your friend stab you in the leg while drunk and high on coke?
Randomize
