He shaved off his eyebrows. This is not my life.
good it was pretty cute, also what would bong water do to a puppy?
Found your dick twin last night
This is one of those moments when you do what I say or I come stalk you down like a gazelle.
Woke up today to the sound of church bells. My first thought was shit the apocalypse, but then I remembered my hook up lives next to a church. This might be a rough day.
My 16 year old neighbor is throwing a rager cuz her parents are out of town and my brother and I are sitting on the porch listening to A) someone fuck on the trampoline B) a girl bawling about her parents finding out C) someone puking in what we think is the hot tub. And overall we take a shot everytime someone says "bra"
She is currently expressing her joy for "bad to the bone" through interpretive dance...
I feel like passing out with my foot on your face has bonded us at a very fundamental level.
all i remember was her shitting herself and asking me to call her parents.....i so didn't. when i woke up she was gone and left a note saying "we will be lovers forever"
I remember because you made a pirate noise when you came.
My condoms might be a little big for you but hey, a big sweater is better than no sweater at all when it's cold right?
GET ME OUT OF HERE THE DOCTOR KNOWS HE IS JUDGING ME I DEMAND A PRISON BREAK
Do you rver get that feeling like their are poprocks filling ur boday?
I'm constantly crying, and now I start crying every time I masturbate which is a fun development.
sitting in the prison waiting room in my boyfriends clothes. looooong story.
Randomize
