Dude. Creed is coming in september.
We're no longer friends.
Yeah, I have to wait a few months then take a sample in, I asked the doctor if the sample could be wiped off my wife's back...i told her he said face only.
did you know delaware is a STATE? HOLY CRAP! i didn't till i was hitting on this chick and asked her when she said she was from delaware, which state that was in. crazyness
I never thought I would get head to the lion king soundtrack
road dome is illegal, just asked in driving school.
alcohol. turning childhood friends into awkward hookups since the dawn of civilization.
We decided we needed a drinks fridge in our bathroom.
With me living this close to Mexico now, Tequila is just a geographical choice at this point if nothing else.
It has been so long since I got any action that I have decided to change my vagina's name from "the chamber of judgement" to "the cave of forgotten dreams".
Come to Des Moines on Saturday, handcuff yourself to me and drink a bottle of vodka
I need to reevaluate. My boss gave me drug money. I overslept on my couch. And I had my student teacher go to McDonald's and get an egg mcmuffin for me.
I didn't think it was possible but he dislocated his thumb during intercourse last night then cried
how did you set a fucking salad on fire????????
I just set my messenger to Away so I could run downstairs to masturbate. Working from home is the BEST
I basically spent the entire weekend in bed with that red head.Every time I tried to leave she got me too horny to think straight. I was kidnapped by vagina
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