when you close your eyes do you see, that mystical creature will be me.
who is this?
i feel like i'm waiting in line to date brett michaels
so this rather large man keeps buying us drinks.......then he licked my face....i dont really care though because the drinks are good. Is this bad?
I don't know how I got that girl last night. I feel like seal right now sans the scars
It was like a drunk episode of Dora the Explorer. In English.
I just bedazzled my weight watchers points calculator. You can tell I'm gay.
Somehow she slept thru the vacuuming, people walking in and out, and the sound of constant beer bottles hitting the trash, but when someone said weed in a regular volume of voice she startled awake.
in fingerprint form on my ass. Seriously not cool. \ni bruiiiseeee like a delicate fruiiiitttt. Heeeaaarrr the rythymmm
You left your underwear here. I'm hanging it on my door
I see you've set aside this special time to humiliate yourself in public.
if I die on the way please explain to my mother that I do not wear fishnets on a regular basis
So... crashing at the hot bartender's place is not a solid marital decision.
YOU CHEATED ON ME WITH THE WOMAN THAT IS STAYING AT YOUR HOUSE. FORGIVE ME IF IM NOT THINKING YOUR A DEDICATED BOYFRIEND.
I'M MAKING HIKING PLANS WITH THE GIRL WHO IS DATING MY EX, THAT IS PERSONAL FUCKING GROWTH
Met the hot new neighbor. She's into country music and giving really good bjs. Latter made up for the former.
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