What type of outfit says "I know you slept with my boyfriend before and are also way skinnier than me, but I look better...somehow"
He wore a Medeval Times crown while I gave him a BJ
I am particularly sorry about getting dome in your backseat. And for thinking you wouldn't notice.
You stole a frozen pizza from the freezer, stuffed it in the back of your shirt then proceeded to leave the party.
Drunk me thinks I can light up a cig anywhere, sober me finds this hilarious and highly irresponsible. The grocery store is not a bar.
I couldn't find the bathroom last night...so I wrapped myself in the curtains and stuck my butt out the window and peed from two stories up. Thank god I don't remember.
I took a hang over nap infront of the door to my 9am class
No. I either had a 6 minute orgasm or I had so many I lost count. I'm still not sure.
I don't remember where I was but I remembered that I hated everyone there
Heard you were the one that shit off Jamie's balcony. FYI there is a cabbie down here out for blood
I need to you to send me drugs via FedEx
I'll meet you in hell with unlimited boxes of wine though
His idea of a night out is drinking beer in the driveway. He's been on house arrest too long
So drunk last night I reviewed my recent anazon purchase of secret deodorant. Trust me, it was eloquent.
I never thought I'd be complaining about having sex 4 times a day, but here we are...
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