next time dont tell jokes :) miss bonerkill
apparently it's not kosher to shit in a litter box when there's a line for the bathroom
this kid just offered me adderall in exchange for my meal points. college at its finest
I have shoes on. No pants. And my jacket pockets are full of ketchup and grass. Yes. Good night.
I cannot believe we're comparing my vagina to Mary Poppins and a black hole.
its family weekend so i'm givin my little bro a tour of everywhere ive thrown up on campus
Why is everyone in the bowling alley looking at me like i'm a prostitute just because I have bunny ears on?
Also, I'd like to add that that I'm not quitting my job, my boss fed me shots at 11 am this morning.
He said "I wish they sold 40's in bars".. and a business plan came to mind. Maybe I CAN do something with my degree...
Just put a dog collar on someone's child.....was a great hit with everyone but his mom.......I think she hates me. I'm okay.with that
I think they took out their livers years ago and replaced them with like cheese graters or something. Only explanation.
We could all 3 jump out of a cake in just tophats. A true marble cake.
I wasn't a groupie because I didn't carry his guitar home
We were destined to go to rehab together
my dad pointed to my full beer and said drink up we're leaving now.
can you adopt me?
Randomize
