hell yes lets make some ravioli
Stephanie. Problem. I think if I had met Murphy before Ben I would have fucked him instead.
Don't worry about your Murphy feelings. I may have fucked him no matter what.
I'm a simple man, with a social life most psychopaths would cringe at
its raining. im dressed as yoda and im trick or treating alone. and i wonder why im still a virgin..
I feel like I should put "don't judge me" in the special instructions for the pizza guy.
i don't know how the hand towel got involved, but i peed all over it
Annd you probably wouldn't of fallen down the stairs if you didn't insist on taking 'finale shots'
My New Years Resolution is to come up with a new resolution monthly. January: decrease my shotgunning consumption speed to 7 seconds or less.
She just took the bottle of jager to the bathroom and locked the door. Now I hear the water running..if the house floods she's paying for it
He straight up just had me drive all the way here and when I got here he was drinking a cup of tea and right after said he needed to go to bed
Wait, cocaine is okay but tanning isn't?
i just took a huge shit in old main. i think my college bucketlist is finished.
She's in it for that fear factor ya'll. Obsession and stalking or nothing.
Your ex roommate is making out w the kid who pees on floors and it's kinda funny
I am witnessing a blind guy whip ass at beer pong
Randomize
