It has come to my attention that I should apologize for myself and my friends
I went to the gynecologist and they said, "you're the most fun person we've ever had," and i thought, "that's exactly why i'm here!"
we're about an hour out, how's the weather?
cloudy with a chance of strippers and cocaine, you're favorite. welcome home.
I got shot at today. If that doesn't get me at least a blow job I give up working on the south side
Homeboy was juggling while taking bong rips. Of course he got laid.
Just ignore his excessive use of exclamation points and be happy this one is of age.
You fucker.
These fuzzy pants work great for sleeping, taking an exam, getting baked and watching the hobbit. I guess i'm not changing pants for 72 hours.
I told him his only options were from behind or me on top. I was not about to mess up my $80 blow out before graduation.
What did he say?
NOTHING. GODDAMN HIM AND HIS MAGICAL PENIS!
I ran into his family and they made me a ham sandwich and I asked if they wanted to come streaking. I felt they deserved the invite.
just walked passed a black light...apparently he DID cum.
I now know he's been cheating for a while. I also know HER name, address, phone number, Facebook account, religion and zodiac sign. I feel like I'm earning my restraining order. Point is, never fuck over a librarian.
Lets just say the phase, What a dick, has a whole new meaning at the urinals.
Nobody cheats on THIS.
So I fell alseep while I was motorboating that girl last night infront of the entire party.
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