oh, also, we're locked out of the house and we're going to have to take shelter with the hot, poss single, dad next door. i hope this turns into a porno
At an apparent methhead hillbilly bar and was smiling for a pic when one toothless wonder screamed "look at all them teeth"!
In these economic times, linking arms taking tequilla shots with your boss as an underage girl is the best job security I can think of
It was so romantic--he turned me around to face the sunset during doggy-style over the couch back.
so after he got his stomach pumped, he asked for a smoking room.
The waiter to-go cupped my bloody mary without me even asking. THAT hungover.
OK, the bar's closing. Do I go to home to my wife or my girlfriend?
I'm trying to decide whether it's worth it to masturbate in this gas station bathroom
He was just lying on my lap in the backseat screaming how if the cops came he was a blanket.
Yeah I'm at work. Nothing like the threat of blowing chunks on passing cars to make you feel alive.
I also woke up on my floor. Naked. On a pile of clothes. With my head in the trash can. And a sheet over me.
I should probably stop recommending my dentist to the different guys I'm seeing. That could be awkward in the future.
I apparently asked the bartender for a plastic bag and told her I was gunna puke then grabbed two handles from the bar then put the handles in the plastic bag and left.....
Anytime he goes down on me i automatically think of you cheering me on. Your a good friend.
This will never work. His dick is smaller than mine.
Wow. And yours is kind of small.
RIGHT?
Randomize
