ive never been so in love with another man before, in a totally none sexual way... no homo
the best thing about tacos is after you shit them all out you feel like to have room for your dignity to come back
I know i'm drunk when the "men" sign on the bathroom sounds chinese
Hey babe, chan wants you to stop texting her about the size of TJ's dick. please.
Skinny jeans should not be made in size 14. Then, it's just a lie.
Drunken horseback riding is the absolute worst decision i've ever made in my life.
It starts with an S and ends with arah just gave me a bj.
What can I say, we hook up during the holidays.. We're a seasonal couple
I pretty much envision me eating a turkey leg whilst fucking you. I have priorities.
Dude he's not responding... I'll take that as an unpleasant visit to the clinic
Just served breakfast to a bunch of hella drunk kids. They kidnapped the birthday boy for his 21st and he was wearing a disney onesy and bunny ears. They've been drinking since before dawn, why don't we have friends like that?
according to last night, I underestimated the size of my mouth and the possibilities of what can fit into it.
On a scale from 1 to the worst weekend of my life, that was an 11. I can see again, though.
Just cried watching Wimbledon, worst comedown ever.
I come home to my brother mixing skittles and vodka. We're all proud of him.
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