It was worse than when we pepper-sprayed my dick. I feel mislead.
i think every time you texted me i responded with 'bathroom floor'
we are both sitting on my bed desperately refreshing the order tracking page for dominos.
Alosmot hir two of of mt mailanoxwa
Oh Jesus.
Tell him I thought his Superman stand on your bed and cum all over your back was quite funny
I dont even care how hung over I am, and how shitty this bus ride will be. That was the best sex of my life and it's a beautiful morning.
I just need a text that says "put that food down bitch" and then maybe I'll lose water weight through tears
Just like to put it out there it's surprising how little reception a dog cage has
if i can hear my landlord's phone ring you think be can hear my vibrator?
if i cared i wouldnt have woken you up by pouring a bottle of soy sauce on you.
is that what this stuff is?
do you think our homemade porn will pass for my cinematography final?
I found out his moms name, maiden name, profession, and office location, his dads name and profession, his home phone, picture of their house, all of his work profiles, and the cost of their house. All I'm trying to do is find his damn twitter
we played animal sounds and i linked arms with her cuz we were both cats....fate and my community college drama teacher have chosen my one night stand
I’m almost positive this girl is drinking a mojito in class right now, if so she’s my new hero
I don't think I'll get invited back. I drunkenly told her that her kids would be perfect for a pro-abortion campaign.
Randomize
