Everytime I cough, my tampon falls out a little bit. Does this mean I'm loose?
I just made out with a girl with a life jacket on wtf is going on
The best part was that when I woke up, I poked her with my dick to wake her up, and said, "Hi, I'm Alex. Nice to meet you". Shoulda seen the look on her face. Priceless.
It sucks..Now I'm depressed because appearence wise, she's the closest to my favorite pornstar I'll ever get..
my mom just asked if she should wash your furry handcuffs with the lights or darks
I think there was chlamydia in those woods.
and then you started talkingabout how you wish birth control was disspensed as a candy necklace
Apparently I walked up to him, mumbled something incoherently, then started to make out with him. Why does this always happen.
I just gave an orange Froot Loop the finger for falling on the floor instead of my mouth when I was pouring a mini box of cereal into my face.
Turns out he has a 6pack too. Alright adorable snapchatting manwhore dude, you win.
I have poison ivy and a broken finger. Don't have a threesome in the woods.
I can't wait to shower all this regret off of me
I had to google some of the kinky sex shit she was telling me she was into.
If that is not a reason to propose to her then I don't know what is
He just showed up in boxer briefs and loafers with only his phone and condoms
I thought I was really making her scream. Turns out she had a Lego jammed in her lower back.
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