I am at The Loft in SoNo, and there are two girls within arms reach that are making out with each other AGGRESIVELY. Like I can see 100% of a boob
For future reference, this is Trevors little sisters phone now. Trevs number is 484 XXX XXXX. Great story tho
so after morning sex, she rolled a joint and turned on sports center
you might have found the rare bro goddess. i thought they were myth
i'm thankful for my girlfriend's hot cousins....god, i love her family parties.
Is there a zoo near here? I need to see some penguins like right now..
I am not bailing you of of jail
She had the hiccups when she was giving me head. It was actually pretty awesome
i could have sworn she did an overextended split with her legs over her head but now i think it was just the drugs
I always figured rock bottom would've involved more hookers
Just caught my first cougar this fake was worth every fucking penny.
Is it sad I don't want to go buy $1 Mac-n-cheese cause I need to pay rent... I'm re-naming this college.
Also, peanut butter on a spoon dinner is back in existence and it is good.
Told him I'd blow him in the bathroom. There was a giant window everyone was looking thru. He whipped it out n I burst out laughing n walked away. Even blackout drunk I set the bar high. You should be proud.
Bought pregnancy tests in bulk off amazon. Kinda feel insulted that it asked if I wanted to subscribe for regular shipments.
I just ordered a "football meatlong" from subway
If a clean cut ginger with a flannel and tattoos shows up at the apartment, he is allowed inside.
yea so the plan to relive our college glory days was great and all but ending up in the er with alcohol poisoning was crossing the line
QUICK FAX ME THE BALL
Not how faxing works at all btw
Randomize
