her voice is like 435,765 daggers being simultaneously twisted into my eardrum
i'd rather just be hit by a car than answer her phone calls
I don't know where I am but the food in the fridge is awesome.
Currently standing on top of my parents leather couch with no pants on playing helicoptor with my penis. You?
watching espn. realized that the exact place those sportcenter guys are is where I got laid on the beach last superbowl. my sex spot is broadcasted nationwide
Just found out its our ciliated mucous membrane that traps the molly when we snort it. Biology does relate to life
I just woke up to three dick pics. Apparently in my blacked out state. I was asking for them as the new valentines day card.
I took a few sips of my hugeee bottle of liquid Vicodin and smoked my one hitter and now I'm going thru my attic like Indiana Jones
I mean you were pretty drunk at one point you asked if we could have a glass of water ready for you in case you choked while bobbing for apples, but you said grape juice was preferable. You can't choke on an apple btw
After sex he cried I didn't know what to do so I patted him on the back and went to the kitchen to make waffles
WOKE UP NEXT TO A PLATE OF MEATBALLS HAPPY MONDAY
A thong just fell out of my purse in front of my whole class maybe I should stop using this morning class as my walk of shame
I just need some breakup sex yanno like filthy wish fulfilling breakup sex to make me forget what I never had
I can't believe just smoked out of a pear
I can't believe you had a pear already made to smoke out of, that was impressive
I figure I since I made out with him that I at least had to save his number in my phone.
I think i got beer on your cat.
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