butt plug
anus plug
rubbish cock?
yes
you suck at this game today
Just did a line with a monopoly bill. Tell me I'm not fancy.
you handled that situation with as much grace as someone puking involuntarily could
He left his umbrella behind in my bed to 'keep me company', then stole my front door key before he went to work
Yes my plan is to drink the college out of me so i can be an adult by monday
There is a visibable outline from you in the grass. its you in the fetal position...
i woke up hungover wearing my gym shorts and the condom from last night. Wine bar thursdays rule.
You are right. The scrape marks on her ass are from her breaking the doggy door by crawling through it.
Its like he woke the dragon, and the dragon is hungry for a good dick.
No amount of beer will make me feel better about this. It's time for Emergency Whisky
Like you know your sex life is in a downward spiral when your best friend offers to sext you from Ireland
im glad im back to a point in my life where i have enough sex to sometimes be offered and be like naw im good.
There. Isnt. A. Single. Person. Who. Is. Not. High. At. Church.
Well you could have stayed home, played house and got blow jobs all weekend babe, but we all have to live with our decision
I may or may not be drinking in a church parking lot.
Randomize
