I just figured it out. Meghan has the same smile as Sylvester Stallone.
I mean I'm basically single. Or maybe just an asshole. Either way.
You just kept saying "I want my babies to look like you."
the caf people were giving us weird looks and she yelled ITS A LIFE STYLE
The last thing I remember was doing a line in the shape of Texas
God I feel like the rain man of hangovers.
College is a time for personal growth. Meaning it's time to start using those pickup lines on randos at dive bars.
"Clean/organize my room day" turned into "Blast my old Jock Jams cds while getting high as fuck with a strobe light day"
I'm at work. It's margarita night. Someone literally just shouted "MURICUH!"
God bless us, everyone.
Its not even real halloween yet. This extremely toxic yet briliant costume is going to kill me
Your final is gonna be as easy for you as getting into straight girls' pants is for me.
And speaking of good acting I may have a sex tape now
I TAUGHT HER CAT TO SIT. CATS DON'T FUCKING SIT ON COMMAND. BUT THIS ONE DID!
It's basically my crowning achievement.
he's like crack. I can't be in the same room with him while drunk and not do him.
woke up to two girls crawling on top of me forcefeeding me bacon. Best. Hangover. Ever.
Randomize
