so that guy from last night texted me saying i flashed half of my extended family last night. so classy.
There was something that i liked about you, but you spent it
OMFG BINX FROM HOCUS POCUS IS MCGEE IN NCIS!!!!!!!! most. epic. realization. ever.
Semi hypothetical question. Do you think its physically possible to bruise your clit?
I feel like a need a fire hose to wash off what I did last night
Being invited to eat tater tots at 1:30am by a rly hot girl then actually only eating tater tots is a major let down. Tasty, but still a let down
Quote of the night award goes to my father "I like wearing my swim trunks around the house because they are cooler and more blousy for my balls". Yay dad
I am not even close to finishing violently masturbating over that video.
In the last 3 months, I've slept with an ex,someone single, someone in a relationship, someone married, and someone divorced. I should get some type of grown up girl scouts badge.
7:26 bus just came. I am sweatier than Louie Anderson eating chili in a sauna
I'm filtering his penis picture so I can see it better
I remember grabbing your ass. So firm. So right. I don't regret it.
I spilled wine on my pillowcase and I figure it's basically my lifeblood so I'm just leaving it
She is 6 months pregnant and gets more action at bars than I do.
how soon in a friendship can you start calling them a motherfucker
Randomize
