wanna go halves on a baby?
i chose cheese fries over sex for the third time this week.
My hot female boss's cubical is right next to mine with a wall between us. Do you think it is too forward to make a glory hole in the wall?
you took a scissor and started screaming "I WANNA KNOW WHAT ITS LIKE TO BE BALD"
I won't be sarcastic... just naked
No... We were arguing over whose family is more dysfunctional... Then my brother stumbled in and puked all over jakes ugly dog.
well he has a gf so if he picks me up tonight i'll only him finger me
threw up outside of the dorms in the parking lot in the pouring rain on the first day of class, i'd say summer is off to a good start.
yeah we're mixing orange juice, vodka, and rum and calling it Oj Simpson On Trial
It is becoming increasingly more likely that my entire halloween costume will be entirely composed of borrowed clothing from the two girls I'm hooking up
I sold him an eighth while trippin balls wearin my girlfriends tutu and tube top. and i was talking about albinos the entire time
well, he defiantly picked the right guy to buy drugs from
Where were you last night, and why am I not surprised that drag queens were involved?
And with one simple text you can separate the men from the boys...."it's that time of the month."
I just left a 3 minute voicemail to the guy I want to fuck baby talking my cats and I don't know if I can delete it 😐
Found out that I went to the same elementary school as the guy I'm hooking up with. Kosher or no
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