Operation extremely regretful is in full effect
You just compared our sex life to a seven year old kid.
"The real world" DC house is on the corner of 20th and S. Wanna come with to check it out? It's my goal to be a blurred out face in their hot tub.
It's a sad day when you have to slightly move your fupa to shave.
Don't judge me. Haven't eaten all day so I'm in my room sticking my finger in peanut butter, then jam, then my mouth.
so i turned around to do some reverse cowgirl when he said that this was such a better visual for him. Bad compliment or serious insult. i cant tell
I cant talk about it right now or let you guess, but its something you and i would do. Kinda like that time we had the case of beer and went bowling
You hooked up with minors in a golf cart?
all i remember is that her bootyshorts said 'shameless' and that there was no turning back.
I found her in the trunk, smoking a cigarette, saying every girl should know how to get out of their trunk
We're like Siamese twins, but joined at the genitals.
My cell phone fell out of my shirt pocket while tying my shoe on an escalator....which was followed by me being accused of trying to sneak an upskirt photo and being violently shoved down the top of the escalator. How's YOUR day?
He was peeing on the back wall of a building. He would have been okay if the building hadn't been a police station.
Not gonna lie, Wednesday was the perfect day to get laid off, all I've done since is watch the Simpsons marathon
all I know is id definitely throw up if you guys ever dated so if you do stay the fuck away from me
Can my mom come with to the bar? Prince just died and I feel like I need to take her out to cheer her up.
Randomize
