I just met lou reed's venus in furs. Her hands are slippery.
you're like the ceasar milan of boners... you understand them on a different level.
I woke up this morning next to some guy. I was horrified, he woke up and said, "the white tiger strikes again!"
um. i met him on myspace...we text now, he lives down the street
she told me she was pregnant in a never have i ever game
My mom just told me to drench my entire body in vodka for 20 minutes. I have never been this russian. no one has ever been this russian
she kept calling me pablo. i just went with it.
To this day, he introduces me as "the girl I met climbing trees at 3 A.M."
What's the over under on catching something from your sister?
Yah, I guess one silver lining is I'd never seen a full water cooler get thrown down a flight of stairs, gotta appreciate the little things
I may or may not be wearing slippers and a TMNT hat. This thing better not have a dress code.
We lost our room key and found it in his pocket with 3 pieces of fish.
The George Foreman grill is melted. I don't know what other problems could arise.
All I want is some guy to eat me out while I work on grad school things then go on his way
Dude, she stopped mid blow job to ask the cat's name. ADHD might be a deal breaker after all.
Randomize
