Your dad touched me again.
well, if it werent for her you wouldnt have gotten a handjob in the middle of the bar. so, maybe you should thank her too.
why weren't you at the audition last night?
booty call before role call
I say that when we get our grades back we're making a drinking game out of it.
It is scary how often "just flash him" is your advice.
I'm trying to convey to the smoking hot Spanish cleaning lady at work that I want to bone her but I think it's getting lost in translation. How do you say "blowjob" in Spanish?
There was a reason God said "Let there be titties" on the Fifth Day.
It isn't possible and the very mindfuck of that concept gives me a lady boner.
When a bartender remarks "wow" on how quickly you've finished a drink... Is that good or bad?
I got kicked out of the hotel after wandering into the banquet kitchen at 2am trying to find the shrimp....so we're power napping in the car and then driving to madison.
That all sounds beautiful. All I have to offer is my shining personality, extensive amounts of space knowledge, and I hear I am pretty not sucky at sucking dick
When I got home he was in his underpants on the couch, eating pop tarts and crying while watching Voltron.
I think I've had more sex in your bed than you have and I've only been here three days
How my distance relationship is going: he's trying to sext me & I'm stuffing pizza in my face.
Thanks for listening. You're the first guy I've ever worked with who I didn't want to fuck.
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