but i am gonna have to have sex w/ him again to get my earrings back
i just saw a guy carrying a medieval times commemerative glass filled with vomit.. there were 2 people cheering him from behind
I noticed how good my hair still looked. Apparently rum and coke in it helps it stay curly thru sex. May be using this more often.
Hu mahhiw im so tired.i just got done. In fo dleepu. Aaaaaaahh. I qisj my mom filmed me. In axtunf so funny
I think you have the right to know, the water bottle you drank out of the other night is the bottle we use to catch what drips from the toilet. Love you!
The Angel on my shoulder is now resorting to merely reminding me that, "You will regret this later." I'm not sure if he's learning how I think or just giving up. Either way, should make life a bit more interesting.
I vaguely remember seeing that couple making out in front of that store and i yelled "I ALSO LOVE THE ROCKY MOUNTAIN SOAP COMPANY!"
she's a nursing student, i didn't think vomit would freak her out so much
you puked ON HER
Just made a beer run. At 9am. In my pjs. I should not be graduating today
You had a hat of bras. Probably a good dozen, which is totally impressive for a Thirsty Thursday
He asked if I was going to squirt out my bday candles. I'm glad the perversion doesn't stop for special occasions.
She was drunk, dancing on the table. Until the table leg completely broke off and she fell on the ground and broke her front tooth straight off. Worse news is there making her pay for the table
you blew the guy with all the harry potter paraphanelia didn't you
IDK if she's gay or not, but there is something about the way she looks at me that says "do dirty dirty things to me." I have no choice but to oblige.
Not gonna make it. His stripper neighbors are playing a Super Bowl drinking game that involves removing my clothes
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