tonight would not even compare to the night i tried to pee in the living room
i blew a .213 what kind of thug blows the compton area code exactly? this guy
Dude, we totally smoked up inside a church organ last night. Add this to the epic list.
Why was I handcuffed to the roof?
It was easier then trying to explain why you couldn't fly
We didn't have a blender for the margaritas, so she tried to use the garbage disposal and wasted half a handle of my grandpa's good tequila.
All together there was 318 cigarette butts in the pool... And my microwave.
You don't want any of I have. Seriously. Its 80 proof rum that was 8 bucks for a liter. I'm afraid
I'm sure your liver is writing out a will as we speak
Your lack of enthusiasm for my exciting news of drunken debauchery with an otherwise occupied vagina of one of my greatest conquests yet disturbs me. I'm not happy with you
I had to write an apology letter to my roomate for hotboxing in our bathroom. What a bitch.
We could have a classy candlelight sonic dinner with fireball cocktails if you leave now. Twat tickler centerpieces.
Is there some sort of line being crossed when your shower activities start to involve jimmy johns?
Suffice to say, I think if people ask about your bruises, and you look them right in the eye, and say "they're from fucking...", people would be like, "respect."
He changed the password on his Netflix account. The break up is official.
If you're signed up as "sober sister" can you do cocaine or nah
I have post one night stand depression
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