I have no voice and feel like lukewarm beer.
they got in a fight during sex...she came out yelling and covered in chocolate
I feel so grown up. I just went to home depot to buy actual home improvement supplies instead of stuff to make a bong with.
I learned an important lesson this weekend.... I'm way to good at sex to travel for it. From now on he drives here...
Leave the bottle at home cause either way I'm not taking another shot. You have no idea how long it took me to compose this text free of grammatical error.
Gold star for you, but I'm on my way and the soco is buckled in next to me. This is happening.
Yes stubble LOOKS hot but factor in his shitty bj skills and I might as well have jacked off with apricot scrub
You then showed up downstairs in only a robe, telling everyone how you were "the most chivalristic fratstar ever."
She kept grabbing my head and told my faces to stop shaking.. Also, she kept whispering something about seeing flowers in my eyes.
It sucks laughing and vomiting at the same time, trust me. I kind of remember
Nothing like the soothing screaming of your neighbor getting boned while eating a pizza on the front porch.
Want to help me look around town for my shorts from last night?
I woke up in bed spooning a vacuum cleaner
My mind doesn't wanna day drink but my heart does.
beach body workouts will consist of dancing and cocaine, and sugar free redbull
im mourning your vaginas lack of frictional upkeep
Randomize
