im probably the most hungover person watchin icarly right now
she's bipolar. she literally has TWO facebook pages. one for each personality. this. bitch. is. crazy.
i would one night stand the shit outta him
I thought you'd have died of alcohol poisoning years ago! How'd you get my number?
come over, blizzard of oz party. dress up.
Swear to god this chicks brother got let out of jail for the weekend for the sole purpose of cock blocking me
He's in a nude suit, bald, with a pink headband and a black sharpie streak down his forehead.
Well I'm sleeping with two of them cause they have nice cars. And the third cause she has a big rack. I'm just really waiting for it all to blow up in my face so I can find a girl I'm actually interested in
So what kind of fun pills do we have for the amusement park tomorrow?
And then I discovered that while drunk last night I called the NAACP and left an angry voicemail demanding they fix the racism at my school
Kinda hard to look your partner in the face the day after a rousing game of How Many Ways Can I Capture Your Penis.
Meeting up with one of your students at your drug dealers house is always an awkward moment
I know we agreed to cock block each other from now on buttt I WANT this one. I have felt his penis, it is godly, and I am going to have it inside of me, so shut the fuck up and leave.
Dude. Craziest ride ever. I was convinced that the bus was an airplane. There were clouds when I looked out the window. I got really upset every time the bus turned because airplanes shouldn't turn.
They're doing CPR to someone in the middle of Victoria's Secret. Way to block the undies, damnit!
Randomize
