Just saw the homeless asian lady making a hispanic man pull her shopping cart with a harness. I love Boston.
reasons why jon gosselin is probably ur biological father: 1. ur half asian 2. hes everyones biological father 3. u wear ed hardy
sounds legit
They past out watching a re-run of the 1984 presidential debate on cspan
I am paying my roommate as much of the electric bill in pennies as possible because I hate her.
New discovery: conditioner is better for jerking off than baby oil. Fuck yes.
Washing vom off hardwood, so much easier than carpet. Thank you adulthood!
i havent blinked in 235 seconds. now 247. now 258. 263. 267. 271. i also have been gifted with theability to both type and count and not blink. 293 so magical
I was standing when I hit it. I barely made it to the couch before the walls started turning into people.
At this point, if I'm not getting fucked by a man in ONLY cowboy boots, it's not worth it.
You left a bit of molly on the table and my mom found it. She asked what it was, I said "not drugs"
She believed me because "leaving that much behind on the table would be a waste so obviously it's not drugs."
The FEDEX guy just cock blocked me by getting his van stuck in my driveway
You told everyone to shut up then told the officer that you are 21 when you drink.
If by fun you mean, did I meet her cousin for the.first time and bang him, then yes it was a productive evening.
Uber southern baptist grandma and uber flaming cousin just got into an argument about whether jesus is OK with gay marriage. Aren't these things only supposed to happen at Thanksgiving?
She walked up to me and whispered "I hope you're good at sex" and led me to the beach.
Randomize
