Thank God they found balloon boy, I was afraid that Michael Jackson was ordering take out from heaven.
that awkward moment when your booty call gets snowed in at your place.
I've started bribing my dorm's security guard with cookies so that he doesn't tell all the boys i'm hooking up with about each other.
I'm in his phone as "nashville blowjob" he also has "cleveland blowjob" "vegas blowjob" etc. i'm okay with this.
12 trash cans filled with water. Beer cans floating in each, 12 ft apart. Dodgeball. Ultimate beer pong.
Rules. We have to wear superhero outfits
I thought stuff was gonna go really bad after he filled the super-soaker with kerosene. but it all turned out pretty well.
You better be coming back...your date is passed out in a shrub in my backyard and I'm pretty sure her shirt is on my kitchen floor
Can I get a "hallelujah" for railing my pastors daughter last night?
You said that my dog would "complete your puzzle" then you got naked and took it behind the bar
............HELP Ive been abducted by vodka and its poisoning my brain fat chicks are getting cute and i slept with my sisters friend who slightly resembles john kerry....,,help
pain. pain everywhere. this is why throwing yourself at concrete is a bad idea.
Boys should be on-demand - like, once you select one, he's yours for the next 24-hours
Now that makes it sound like you had sex with a guy in batman costume and you never took the mask off so you can't 100 percent be sure.
I was taking this cougar home in the middle of the night I walked across the hall all naked to take a piss and ran into to some chick from highschool she said no way you are fucking my mom ran into her moms room and started yelling at her
Ok. Yes. He has a tiny penis. But he also has a trust fund.
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