Sex don't cost a thang now that you can buy trojans with meal points.
Just wondering why in an apartment full of stoners there is half a waffle in the TRASH CAN. get ur shit together man
i just saw someone i know on True Life. i need new friends.
just graduated on the spot on the quad where I vommed freshman year. full circle
But besides the pee thing, he sounds like a nice guy.
what's an appropriate "I'm fucking your grandson but I'm trying to hide it" outfit?
Oh shit I just realized the ropes are still tied to the bedposts
How many people can say they've shit on the floor of a five star hotel?
And if I don't get arrested for drinking and canoeing over the next 3 days, this hurricane will not have turned out anywhere near as well as I planned
Please tell me how I go from a guy with a coke problem to a cop. My own life doesn't even make sense to me anymore
We should give each other good-luck-on-your-finals head in the morning.
She yanked on my limp dick and I yelped, to which she slurred something about starting it like a lawn mower
He literally just made me hold his dick while he peed cause he wanted to know if I could aim as good as him
I told him I was going outside to throw up and I ended up passing out in the front yard in my underwear for 45 minutes. When I walked back inside he said "where have u been?". My husband ladies and gentlemen
Hahaha wearing a fake moustache in public was the best idea i ever had
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