i think i have herpe
just one?
$3 wine plus diet sprite does not make good champagne.
does taste better than andre tho
I just put a tampon in while driving. Don't tell me I don't got skills.
A guy with no shirt on and a eyepatch just got out of the car beside me. After he slammed his door into mine. This is our hometown.
Last thing I remember was wondering why there was a mirror on the wall behind the urinal and then realizing I was pissing in the sink.
Def just hooked up with my brother's senior prom date in his bed. Does that make me the worst brother ever?
I vote for a trading skills night. You teach me to juggle, I'll teach you knife fighting, and we'll both learn banjo
Damn why is there no horse blowjob emoji?
This is what happens when wu tang raised you
Jill you already won the game by finding a dude who will fuck you in flamingo knee socks. Theres no hope for the rest of us
He's hot, you can get laid, and you may get free drugs. It's the trifecta of banging a drug dealer
Drunk in my hotel room, eating taco bell, and crying at Nicki Minaj's life story.
This is why I keep you in my life.
I wasn't that gone.
Dude, you cried and said how sorry you were when we asked why you had the dip.
Right. He was like "I'll be here all night if I have to..." I was like "Well then, I'll have to call the cops..."
I don't want to go to sleep. I like partying with myself.
Randomize
