is it bad that i kinda- ok, reallyyy don't remember having sex with him last night?
I can't believe you're fucking in the bar bathroom, but everyone else can, and they're really proud.
and if my full six pack comes in by Halloween there is no stopping the man slut costume. I have no shame
Bathroom attendant appreciated that hug I have him as a tip. Fucking BROKE these days.
I texted him that I wanted to be more than fuck buddies so when I came over he gave me a punch card. He takes me I dinner every 10 fucks.
Can we make a pact that if we're 40 and still sluts that aren't married we can get civil unioned the fuck up and raise an asian baby as our own?
After I came she just held my balls until I fell asleep. It was like adult swaddling. Magical...
Oh hell no my vagina is on that screenshot
like i got into his car and the beatles were playing. this kid is def getting his dick sucked
I literally just skipped to the fridge when I realized we had enough vodka left to get day drunk
Just taking a shit and realized the captain planet theme song is stuck in my head.
We broke the bed while I was handcuffed to the headboard and let's just say that was a hard one to explain to the RA
I jus want to remember tomorrow how proud I was tonight for wearing my rainbow leggings as a long sleeved shrug I feel like fucking MacGuyver
And on a positive note i found a list that i made in 3rd grade titled "what to do if you want a guy to like you"
I dunno. The drunker I get, the easier econ gets. I may be onto something here.
Randomize
