my mom walked in on me smoking weed alone, listening to the eagles, and just staring at the river. she totally knew.
I even made an effort to dress like a conservative young lady who doesnt black out and throw up in her bed regularly today.
I don't want to eat him, he probably tastes terrible.
where did this taco bell managers name tag come from ?
He graduated with honors. I've seen him kneeboard on dry ground and run a razor scooter into a wall...anyone can graduate with honors
I'll still trying to understand the context of your "punch her with my cock" comment.
My public calorie counter app is pretty much just a cry for help.
Yeah her jello shots are the next closest thing to a lethal injection. That potent.
New found love of volunteering, when there's free wine available at all times. Good times. And I get to to feel good about helping people.
stoners and superglue do NOT mix
get your sex hands out of my capn crunch
I really appreciate you taking the time to blur out my excessive boob cleavage for instagram
I'm sorry about the spring break comment. I won't make anymore pornos, I promise.
There is a pool of ranch salad dressing in my purse...I know thats always been something you've wanted to try..so don't even act like you didn't do this.
Howd last night go?
well he stumbled in my parents door drunk and then asked my mom if she was my grandma. Id say as far as first impressions go, he failed miserably
Randomize
