it wasn't lemon gatorade
Gordon Ramsey's restaurant in NY is $150 each for the chef's menu
So you're taking me there this weekend?
oh, looks like he just opened a new restaurant right by us- it's called "McDonald's". Must be scottish food.
I'll trade you a raw potato for some vodka
Why is there a shirtless guy in Walgreens and why is he probably looking for the same thing I am?
I'm surprised you like me... I didn't think I was your type.
Blonde hair and big tits is every guys type.
I'm so horny
I have no idea who this is, but I'm up for a lecture on self-respect
I also have a full keg. I'm thinking about crashing a party, they can't get mad if I bring a keg of beer.
I have the Everlasting Gobstopper of boners right now. It's kinda like a gift from god, but I don't want to spend anymore time with this girl than I have to.
Well you know it's going to be an interesting night when the bathroom attendant is doing hail marrys
Drinking loves me for WHO I am
How do you initiate sexting are u supposed to be like yo I'm peeing and eating a clif bar and texting and thinking about you naked all at the same time
Naked. naked and bneed help.
I've started budgeting for next year. It looks like I'll be crying tears of dollar bills and handing them over to pay back my unholy college debt.
It was the cape. I can't control myself when I wear a cape.
My new superpower is making fuckboys disappear!
Bending dicks and egos since 2002
Randomize
