Waitress cut us off at Chili's bar. New low
I wish the health center treadmills counted beers burned not calories
fter the third song from an iPod commercial played I realized how much that frat sucked.
I just noticed that my shirt smells like coffee after eating out a Barista
Why do I have flashes of a dark shed in my memory?
Because we had sex in one.
If I'm gonna go to jail I'm gonna be wearing a poncho
He just made me apologize because his morning wood is NOT a laughing matter.
I've never seen a grown man cry so much after getting jerked off by a stripper. I say it's the best $600 he ever spent.
It was a two-sided wall so part of my body ended up in someone elses condo.
Also this is super embarrassing but sorry for licking your chest
Well, I dont really know how much penis you have at your disposal so I cant be sure
He said he loves me but he haven't eaten me out yet. So I don't think he means it.
So, then you thought it was a good idea to dress up like the Hamburglar, buy a bag full of McDonalds hamburgers, go to Burger King and throw them at everyone while screaming "HAMBURGLAR!". At that point there was no stopping you.
the next morning we realized we didnt speak the same language... guess i subconsciously did learn a little german last semester. thanks study abroad.
ah the experiences a semester in Vienna can give you. Frau would enjoy knowing that even while sleeping during class you still managed to learn enough german to get laid
I’m on my third beer doing poppers in the shower to no doubt
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