it was a shit show
We all have our days. But yours might be on the internet.
I think my emotional moodswings have reached a new low. I cried for the entire duration of changing my tampon.
its like an ocean threw up right in your lap
Dude you can't like a status about me getting hit by a car
the only good thing about him lasting five minutes was that nobody thinks i had sex with him or that im a slut because we were only in the bathroom for five minutes
Call me when your ready for an explanation about the ham in your vagina.
Haha that's why you never name the penis. Its like a pet, once named you will most likely get attached.
we used the fire extinguisher you had been cuddling with to decorate the cop car while they were inside arresting everyone
his butt looks cute in my panties so i decided he has to wear panties all the time from now on.
Like 50% of me thinks it'll be weird, 25% of me is curious & 25% of me is horny
you're the third guy in less than 24 hours she fucked. I'm glad you lost your virginity just don't act like you climbed Mt. Everest.
Life update - currently drunk off my ass in the yoga room of SFO at 5:30 in the morning.
You are free to stop by. I promise to keep my penis in my leather pants
Blacked out and Irish exited last night. At dinner. On a Sunday.
I think my brain is throwing up inside my head. How do you live like this?
Randomize
