He just said "Chunky" very loudly in his sleep.
this is like black Friday for my dealer. I'm literally standing in line.
I made my rape whistle into a roach clip device. FRESHMAN YEAR!
Idk, it's Grover wearing a sombrero. Do I need a reason?
The second I saw you stumbling down the stairs in a princess crown, I knew I had a friend for life.
Did i actually sleep there? Or did i just get sand everywhere?
Drunk me forgot I'm not an 18yr old raver anymore. Adult me is now in pain.
There are a bunch of highly educated, advanced in their field, PUSSY ASS BITCHES in this bar
How was the birthday sex?
Shit got outta hand. Honestly I think even my STDs have STDs.
Just made a floating bacon boat for the hot tub. This is what America is all about.
In my drunk state I was like I ONLY HAD SEX WITH SOMEONE ELSE BECAUSE HE WAS THE HOTTEST GUY IVE EVER EVEN SEEN
I should get him a card "thanks for letting me use you for your penis on and off as I see fit and for being a nice guy. My boobs and I appreciate your loyalty and dedication"
So the door man at the local dispensary started giving me motivational talks about my beard...
last night I used snow as a chaser
He went three whole days without making a star wars reference, of course he got sex
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