I accidentally burped into my bong.
the best thing about tacos is after you shit them all out you feel like to have room for your dignity to come back
tailgaiting my last final, a perfect sendoff.
i jus dunped the rest of my drink down the sink and tool my bra off. pretty sure this is the best decision for everybody.
you cant keep talent like that locked up in a relationship
Naked Twister starts at high noon
Why can't it ever be the normal ones that stalk me?
Sweet. Warning: i have been drinking at work since 4. Plan accordingly.
No more stories ab the wkend for co-workers... No one else found "and I didn't have pants on when I got home Saturday night" as funny as I did.
yea talk to her if you feel up to it. Just remember who you are
Oh shit sorry I just gave lion king advice sorry not mufasa
If we had kids we couldn't come home, get high and watch porn together. And that's like the only reason I get up in the morning
He keeps telling me he's gonna get me dope for my birthday. 1. HELP ME. 2. HOW IS THAT AN ACCEPTABLE BIRTHDAY PRESENT. Also, please HELP ME.
I'm so glad you haven't fallen off any more yachts
learning about efficiency and effectiveness in an administration seminar. real world application: walking across the street to the pub on break to shotgun a beer.
I would never blame a unicorn for anything.....how dare you
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