Dancing like a fucking crazy person to jai ho with a snow ball in her hand. Snow days make her go nuts.
No, he will live forever, like cockroaches and Jack Bauer.
she's laying in my bed with an ice pack on her vagina. how do you think it went?
It hit me after I slept with his best friends and brother, that maybe I took it a bit far
See this is what happens when we don't have sex everyday
On monday, while we were having crazy monkey sex, I earned $82. Vacation pay rocks.
I may have just serenaded the sadface couple sitting on a bench outside the dorm by singing Bye Bye Bye.
There is a homeless man handing out free beer on the city bus. He has a cooler and everything. I love this trashy yet generous city.
Idk man I'm just a giant talking marshmallow ready to be toasted and dipped in chocolate
you were wearing a pair of wings and handing out McDonalds apple pies, if anyone refers to you as the "Rave Fairy" you now know why.
THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
Do you remember our dinosaur noises from last night ? Breaaaahhhhhppp
so evidently blowing a guy does not mean he will say hi to you when he sees you in class.. in case you're ever wondering
So, I gotta figure when the nurses at the emergency room noticed my new hair cut it means I'm there too often, right?
don't worry dude i have your phone, text me when youre gonna come get it
My husband found the cock ring I bought my FWB. I told him it was napkin holder and he believed me. And that’s why I need a side dick
Randomize
