I think there's some kind of asian convention downtown. There are thousands and they're all wearing badges and snapping pictures. I feel like I just stepped into your worst nightmare.
her underwear stopped being sexy when i saw her pubes sticking out of the top.
You got ahold of his prescription papers and gave out prescriptions for cranberry and vodka
Just ducktaped my beer to my bike. See you in ten.
I want to punch and suck your dick at the same time. I don't think we have the healthiest of relationships.
He kept saying that the puke outside the theater wasn't his and it was all a set up to keep him from partying with the whores. Then he passed out on the sidewalk.
bro im too drunk for your spanish code words. did you fuck her or not.
she passed out facedown in my lap while I was playing piano. 11 years of piano lessons finally paid for themselves.
My right boob is officially about a handful while my left is 1 and 3/4 handfuls. I'm staring at the mirror falling into a deep depression.
We're gonna go drive around campus and throw water balloons at all the drunk bitches wobbling around, wanna come?
Who is Katie and why do we have her birthday cake?
I've never felt more disgusting in my life. And I'm including the time I snuggled that homeless woman in the puddle of my whiskey vomit.
so let me get this straight... she's showing a cameltoe that can be seen from the space station and I'm NOT supposed to stare?
I know this is a weird question but we both had pants on when my mom woke us up last night right?
This is the perfect outfit to do ketamine in, I must say
Randomize
