this guy showed up at my house asking for his sword and cape. something tells me i shouldn't drink that much again.
If your still trying to figure out the moment I stopped caring; it was the point in which you said "I really wasn't sure whose baby it was"
I used the word aforementioned in my paper. That's an automatic A in community college.
He still lectured me about forgetting shit. Than he said he's gonna paint me green so I can stand in a corner and be a plant.
He just broke up w his most recent gf again, wish I could message her and be like it's not you he's gay.
Also, we just got yelled at by a cop for being awesome...or making out in a fountain. Whatever.
I have the slightest memory of swinging a bag full of condoms over my head...
He was showing him the picture of the 40 year old woman he made out with in Florida, turns out Chris made out with the same woman.
Go her
I'm ordering a French maid costume for my dog too. It's like a couples costume, except for losers with dogs.
By the way, just opened the browser on my phone for the first time today... And it was it the "images" section of "who invented ass fucking"
So thanks for that
Just heard him in the middle stall. Sounded like someone emptied a toolbox into the toilet.
I just turned down the best booty call of my life because I have to make a cheesecake. I guess this is growing up.
Have you ever eaten pizza and gotten your dick sucked at the same time? Because I have pizza.
A condom was pulled out of your vagina by a doctor today I do not think you can pull off "closet" hoe anymore
OMG. When you threw the used condom on your floor you threw it in my purse!!! I just went to grab my headphones and it was stuck to them!
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