Fantastic night. drank beer from a wine bottle, danced on a van, chased a llama, and fell from a fence
she's about as cool as a sandpaper handjob.
I plan on using my big titties for evil tonight.
@ a funeral. fucking miss uuuu
i knew she was high when she broke up the cookies into her glass of milk and ate it like cereal
so its official, girls can see a boner through my snuggie.
I didn't know there was such thing as a bad orgasm. Until him.
I decided they need a food cart that just roams around the library like the cotton candy people at the circus. But with real food. like tacos cause it sounds delicious.
My cell phone fell out of my shirt pocket while tying my shoe on an escalator....which was followed by me being accused of trying to sneak an upskirt photo and being violently shoved down the top of the escalator. How's YOUR day?
So bored. I think I've expelled every last gram of jizz from my body.
I want to tell everyone I've ever met about how he him picking me up and fucking me against the wall was the highlight of my life. Worst lesbian ever.
The worst part was when I went to go spit it out and rinse my mouth, his grandpa was in the bathroom, so I had to fucking wait. It was awful. I finally ran to the kitchen and prayed his parents didn't come out of their room.
Why did I ever allow that penis to enter my sacred temple?
It's not safe here. I had urgent and violent diarrhea last night, and I got blackout drunk. Please don't come over.
So when he asked me to go on a date tonight, I didn't think the words "have you tried a suppository" would be part of the evening.
Randomize
