What I dont get about To Catch a Predator is who the fuck still uses chat rooms?
so I guess it's not okay to mix vodka and ..everything and then proceed to offer a lap dance to ...everyone.
Somebody started a fire in the kitchen. I puked on it till it went out. The firemen high fived me.
Saying you want a bj does not count as saying you wanna see me btw.
like when he blacked out and we found him in the garden eating your tomatoes off the vine
He came inside me, looked me in the eye and said, "Happy Mother's Day"
You had a hot dog outside the bar then made me stop at McDonald's for a double quarter pounder. I'd say you've more than filled your drunken meat quota.
She sat next to me on the couch and said "word going around is you got a sweet cock". My nickname problem was solved!
in the future when you find clothing in your street, just assume it's mine.
His constant posting of "inspirational" Taylor Swift quotes over the past 3 days has me a little worried. It's like, holy shit dude, you're almost 30.
Nothing wrong with a few meaningless hookups. Keeps the mind occupied and the body satisfied
I was so high I started singing Let It Go and then instantly started laughing 'cause I was eating ice. Everyone just stared.
He interrupted me giving him head to ask if I were hungry, because he wanted to eat pizza. Wtf.
Just puked in front of a high school tour group. Based on the standing ovation, we have a solid group of freshman coming in this fall.
Legit just heard the bartender tell some Dude "Penis is not an accepted currency in this establishment" and Dude responded "You take Vagina then?"
Randomize
