i think i have reached a jessica simpson level of regret
is it really this hard to find a guy i can fuck and have a good time with who doesn't ask where things are going btwn us?
you sound like my dream girl
So he sent me a text that said "say hi to your vajayjay for me"
Was there any message he wanted you to relay to your asshole?
Busta Rhymes just yelled at me! He cut a song off and I was clapping and he looked right at me and said "don't fucking clap." I was that white guy.
I watched the entire movie Forgetting Sarah Marshall before I realized it was in Spanish.
if you think for one second that i'm not using my mittens as hand puppets at the bar tonight then u dont know me at all!
Just watched porn on a 60 inch plasma screen TV... So that's where the clitoris is
I do not want to do anything. The words more tequila need to be erased from my vocabulary
He leaned over in the middle of the movie and said "My dick's name is Juan". WHO DOES THAT?
Did u see the proverb she left as a comment on my picture?
My dad, when he got home and saw me loading a bowl in the living room: "We have TWO beautiful balconies to get high on and you pick the couch?!"
Jesus himself couldn't make a better sandwich
You walked up to me, grabbed my face and said "I just peed in the sink!"
I will gladly accept you into my home with open legs.
dude igloo, 4 foot bong, and 3 grams of blue dream. will you be my eskimo buddy?
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