Wait. When you mean sick you mean a cold sick right ? not something else.
you got so mad from losing a game of beerpong that you went into another room by yourself and practiced for an hour and a half.
idk if ive ever seen a picture of him on facebook with his pants on
DDing is such a bittersweet job, just got the entire history of this girls hookup career
Do you think it'd be inappropriate to have an I'm Not Keeping My Baby Party the day after her baby shower?
A kind stripper put a blanket over me last night
I wore granny panties last night to ensure I didn't sleep with him. He said they made me seem more mature. I need a new plan
I know you`re my best friend, but when i wake up with this bad of a hangover and no memories of last night, i dont want to see your tits ad my background.
All I have done at work today is eat and try to get my coworker to tie me to his bed again
Drunk and alone at a magic show is what my life has become without you
No more. You can't have nice things, and vodka is a nice thing.
You what they say. One dick in the hand is better than two in the bush
Appreciate the offer but I'm a huge fan of penis
The sex was totally worth how awkward its gonna be for the next few weeks
I should've negotiated that before I sat on his face.
Randomize
